Dear dearies,


I nearly forget the feeling of hapiness.
Today, i really felt them.
First thing in the morning, i just felt that energy that said,
"ohhh bebeyyyy !"
And this first person i met was as usual Nabilalalalala
then, i met this crazy partner of mine, HAZWANI !
Early in the morning she made me laugh and i started my crap !


As usual W46C never failed to make me laughed.
Thanks darls !
:D
We are left with 3 weeks together ?
Oh no !
3 weeks oi !
Time flies freaking fast.


Towards the ending of the day was really something i missed !
Thank you Wan, Rendang, Zul, Khairi, Shikin & Halim !
Ily guys a lot !
Damn a lot !
Firstly, i would like to congratulate
NURUL ATHIRAH who was the best pembahas for my school
and we received a token of appreciation for joining Bahas this year.
&&&&& Congratulations to Madrasah ALJUNIED yang mengjuarai BAHAS 2009.
and Pembahas terbaik adalah DINA from RJC !
Congrats ! Congrats !
:DD
And yes ! I saw him but i dont talk to him !
DAMN ! ahahahha..
but there is always a next time.
:DD


Toddles bebeh !
Im freaking shagggg !
Cherioz !

trying to figure out this life.❤11:35 PM

Dear dearies,




Things are not okay nowadays.
I dont see Mr/Ms Rainbows.
I dont see Mr/Ms Sunshine althought i still see the sun.
All i see is Mr/Ms Rainy day.


To whom it may concern,
I am sorry if you think that i am making a drastic decision.
You are asking me why after five years ?
The answer is more to your side than mine.
I love you a lot !
We have seen each other cry.
We have seen each other laugh.
We have seen each other frustration.
You are the only one who understand me in and out.
You were once my backbone.
Ive seen you suffered enough.
You can change things
but its you who chose not.
Therefore, i took my initiative to change things.
Only god knows how disappointed i am to hear those answer.
Like what i told you,
"We have known each other for 5 years yet you nod to what he said."
I asked you to choose and you said none.
Here you go, im leaving not because i felt kecik hati
but because i love you a lot !
On the other side, he is someone whom i gonna live till my last breath.
and you,you are my another part.
I dont think this decision of mine will change.
I am not hating you .
I dont despise you .
Remember that whatever it is i still love you.


To my PK-ians,
Thank you so much for giving me a break.
Thanks for understanding me.
I know if i were to make that decision on that day,
I would messed things up.
I would break many hearts.
Now, i am having fear to turn up for trainings,meetings.
Ive made my decision and i bet that will make you people hate me more.
But two words,
"Im sorry."
I guess this is the right path for me and you guys.


HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BORNDAY SISQA HERMAN !
Have a WONDERFUL and MEANINGFUL BORNDAY !
It have been ages since we met !
I fraking miss you !
we shall meet during IGNITE !
*Muakz !*


Teddy bear, Give me the strength to be strong.
Cherioz !

trying to figure out this life.❤8:35 PM

Dear dearies,


I feel like Quiting.
I hate working in this environment.
Im not running but things can be better.
People are the one who make this situation worse.


Ive always wanted to learn about this
but its the people who make me hate this.


No worries.
No one ever influence me in making this decision.
I do have brain to think.


P/s: Im emotianally not stable. Oh yarh ! and im not preagnant okay !

trying to figure out this life.❤3:19 PM

Dear dearies ,


UT2 is finally over !
OMG !
But sadly UT3 is coming haunting me AGAIN !
*phew*


My schedules are packed right now.
Im sorry Dear, Bestie.
I’ll try to fit some slots for you guys okay ?
Like what I told you guys, no matter what I will always love you !


I have this sudden feeling.
I missed that someone who used to treat me like a Princess.
And I swear that although I have taken a step forward,
I have found no one like you.
And I bet I can’t find someone that is similar to you.


Ps: We look like best of friend but thing will definitely change.

trying to figure out this life.❤10:34 PM

Dear dearies,


“ Should I appreciate them ? “
My friend was telling me that the problem with me is that I am always stuck within choices.
Was it me deliberately welcome this problem or they come naturally ?
I myself hate to be in this position .


“ Am I cheating on myself ?”
I am denying things just to avoid them.
Who loves to be in a emo syit mood ?
I rather run then bearing the consequences.
But how can I run ?
When he kept appearing in my heart & mind.


" Whats Love ?"
I still don't get the definition right.
Too many poisonous inside that make it totally numb.


Ps: I have no intention of hurting you. If you remain quite, things wont even change. Not even a step.
Cherioz peopleee !

trying to figure out this life.❤10:50 PM

Dear dearies,


I am now in school.
OMG !
I can't imagined that i am now in R-P(RP).


I felt that i have to let out something which i kept inside me.
I felt that im living in fear !
Trauma in exact !
Not that anyone just raped me ! HAHAHHAHA..
Okay !
Lets get down to something serious.


When I hear those bikers yang perah the minyak wanting the whole world to know of their existance,
Ill be like shocked !
When I reflect back on the expression of those people, the first person who came across my mind was his girlfriend .
When Im in the bus going to school, I start imagining how the accident happened.


Eversince that Saturday , I felt that something is bothering me.
The story of how my second cousin passed away was really terrifying.
I started to imaging thing and I am really scared to be alone .
I no longer sleep alone.
I always sneaked my brother's room every night.
Its like haunting me !
oh my !


Ps: Get over them and things will be alright ? [Easy to say,try be in my shoes]
Cherioz !
:D

trying to figure out this life.❤1:03 PM

Dear dearies,




I know i have not been updating my blog.

Close to berabok tapi belum berabok . (:

I shall flood my blog with the pictures i took during my extended holiday break. (:




I shall ucapkan Salam takziah to Cik Rosli and Family atas kehilangan anaknya,

Haeiril Zurhealmy.

It was a shocking news for everyone in my and his family.

I can't even put myself in the shoes of his loved ones.

I saw his parents crying !

I saw his brother giving his last kiss !

I saw his Girlfried crying wanting him back !

I saw things which i wouldnt want to see !

I myself can't relate everything .

What if one day i shall experience all this ?

I don't think i can pull myself through.




My advice to those Bikers or Mat Motor ,

Please drive safely ! For godness sake, the road is not your racing arena ! And also PLEASE STAY AWAKE when you're on the road !




Ps: Life is indeed very, very short !

Cherioz babies !

trying to figure out this life.❤10:20 PM